5J then up-levelled sentences about 'Adrift' using a range of techniques. They did a fantastic job of working well as a group to use adjectives, expanded noun phrases, adverbial phrases, prepositions, -ing openers and more to edit the following sentences for improvement:
The bird soars through the sky. Suddenly, the vast, soft bird thundered through the blue, clean sky.
His wings are expanded. With a drift in the sky, his massive, feathery wings expanded.
The wind ruffles his feathers. Heavy, powerful winds (which came out of nowhere) ruffled his long, fluffy feathers.
The house sits on the whale. The microscopic, ancient house sits on the gigantic, blue whale's back.
The girl looks sad. As a tear rolled out of her icy, blue eyes, the young, lonely, worried girl was inconsolable.
The eagle appears in front of the girl’s window. Above the whale, the soaring, feisty eagle swooped and appeared in front of the girl's open window.
She opens the door. Looking at the ruffled bird, she opens the door.
The girls sits on the grass and hugs her knees. Crying into her arms feeling lonely, the girl sat on the soft grass and hugged her knees.
The boy can fly too! It turns out, the boy can glide like a bird too!
He lands on the ground. In a second, he landed on the ground with a thump.